Table of Contents
Chapter 1. Getting To Know Our Inner Cast Of Characters
Dropping Common NVC Terms
Deepening And Expanding The Inner Map By Using Parts Psychology
Using The IFS Interior Categories For Inner Empathy
Becoming Aware Of The Particular Way You Connect With Your Parts
Conventions and Options In Naming Parts
Important Distinctions About Using Labels For Parts
Gaining An Experiential Understanding Of Empathetic Awareness
Contrasting “Empathetic Awareness” And “Responding From Our Parts”
A Graphic Representation Of The Relationship Our Parts Have With Empathetic Awareness
Forming Strategies or Intentions Based Upon These Diagrams
Chapter 1 Exercises
Chapter 2. Cultivating Empathetic Awareness For Our Parts
First Question: What In Ourselves Is Aware Of Our Parts?
Steps In Cultivating Empathetic Awareness
The Difference Between Self-Empathy and Inner Empathy
The Difference In The Depth Of Inquiry Between Self-Empathy and Inner Empathy
Speaking For or To Our Parts Instead Of From Our Parts
Allowing, Acknowledging, And Welcoming Your Parts To The Present-Time Experiential Table
Encountering Difficulties In Welcoming Parts?
The Form For Practicing Inner Empathy
Deepening Our Engagement With Parts
Speaking To A Part And Having An Empathetic Dialogue
Other Examples Of Holding Compassion and Speaking For Our Parts
1) Parts Operating Under The Right/Wrong Paradigm
2) Parts Carry The Internalized Voices From Our Past
3) What Is Motivating You To Do Better In All Areas Of Your Life?
4) All-Consuming Feeling States
5) Fulfilling Needs Of Others In Relation To Fulfilling Our Own Needs
6) Attachment To Becoming What Is Idealized
7) The Futile Ride On The Hamster Wheel
8) Keeping Down The Pain
9) How Do You Receive From Others?
10) The Critical Parts Fundamentally Distrust You
11) Parts Will Try To Mutate Into a Pseudo Empathetic or Compassionate Awareness
Chapter 2 Exercises
Chapter 3. Becoming Aware Of The Judgments Our Parts Hold
How To Enter An Inner Empathy Inquiry
Creating Emotionally Vivid Connections With Parts
Seeking Permission And Connecting With Multiple Parts
Asking Parts To Step Aside Or Connecting Empathetically
Trying To Banish Parts Only Makes Them Stronger
Stepping Back And Connecting With The Parts Reacting To Parts
The Use of Invitational Language In The Support/Listener Role
Becoming Aware Of The Activity In Our Inner World
Overview Of The Inner Empathy Dynamic Process
Chapter 3 Exercise
Chapter 4. Basic Inner Empathy Session Skills For Speakers and Listeners
Distinctions Between Inner Empathy Session And Forms Of Guided Imagery And Visualization Exercises
Steps In Doing An Inner Empathy Session
Obstacles In Doing An Effective Solo Inner Empathy Session
Steps For Being The Supportive Listener In An Inner Empathy Session
Possible Listener Obstacles To Staying Present During Inner Empathy Session
Using The Inner Empathy Session Sheets
Chapter 4 Exercises
Chapter 5. The Basics Of Connecting With Exile Parts
Reasons For Creating Exile Parts 98
How Our Protective Responses Imply The Pain Of Our Exile Parts
We Can Know Our Exile Parts By The Intensity Of Our Triggers
Strategically Connecting With Protective Parts To Access Exile Parts
Connecting With Personal Growth or Seeker Manager Parts To Disclose Exile Parts They Protect
Connecting To The Burden And Beliefs Of Exile Parts
Connecting To Timid Exile Parts Incrementally
Exile Parts Holding Intense Feelings
Chapter 5 Exercises
Chapter 6. Ways To Disclose The Exile Parts And The Judgments They Hold
Difference Between Conscious Knowing and Unconscious Knowing
The Judgments Our Parts Hold
Translating The Judgments Our Parts Hold
How Our Judgments Progress To Be Judgments About The Totality Of Our Being
Understanding Subverbal Judgments
Entry Points To Discern When Judgments Are Occurring Or Have Occurred In Your Experience
Using These Entry Points To Stretch Your Ways To Connect To Parts
Example Of How To Use The Disclosing Unconscious Judgments Worksheet
When Unconscious Knowings Cannot Be Known
Chapter 6 Exercises
Appendix
Partner Session Guidelines and Requests
Diagram A Parts Chart
Diagram B Parts Chart
At-A-Glance Basic Inner Empathy Solo Session Sheet
At-A-Glance Basic Inner Empathy Session Listener Sheet
Disclosing Unconscious Judgments Worksheet